The reason why I can not have faith in "God" or Jesus and why I hate this western world regime is because I am (and have for years/decades/"life" been) suffering long ongoing constant daily mean cruel hell wrongs and all negatives and no positives, and no one cares, and no matter how hard I try to have faith for whatever indefinite long amount of time before God answers I just aren't able to because I can't help my feelings and thoughts and reactions caused by the constant mean cruel hell wrongs, and because God takes so long that it seems he will never answer.
The mean cruel hell wrongs include:
- Constant ringing sound in my flat from neighbours heat pump(s) which keeps going every second all day and night every day and night for 3-4 years now and which can't be blocked out wit plugs/fingers. (And because of this problem I have had to spend all day every day on the computer for months.)
- Forcibly fluoridated every mouthful every meal every day, and suffering the brain/body hindrances effects all day every day.
- Being made by this regime to be always been single at 48.
- Constantly stopped from doing my paper studies for over 4 years because of ringing sound and fluoridation and other wrongs.
- Can't find out who my real grandfather was.
Sister committed suicide.
Can't find how to contact my other half sister.
- Lost 15 years studies papers some years ago which I can not recover.
- All alone 24/7 most days for the last 20 years, but only alone from positive(s) not from negative(s) which have been constantly around. No friends, hardly any real family, no one cares.
- Never any credit or positives for all my years hard work studies and discoveries.
- Bent nose troubles constantly all day every day for 20 plus years.
- Numerous accommodation troubles including can't shift because of housing crisis and excessively expensive prices/rents; freezing cold flat much of the year; constant troubles with noise from dozens of lawn mowers for days on end every couple of weeks; wiring worries; etc.
- Have had alot of trouble with OCD for 1-2 decades.
- Constant troubles with excessive identification/security measures.
- Unfairly banned from a few groups and forums.
And many more present and past things too.
These things might not seem bad to you. You might think my life doesn't seem so bad. But my "life" is far worse all negatives and no positives, and constant daily mean cruel hell than you know. I have nothing except a flat. No wife, no children, virtually no close family, no friends, no car or drivers license, no detached house, no decent location, no clean unfluoridated water, no quiet (constant ringing sound all day etc), no mental health (OCD/autism), no job, no faith, no peace and quiet to do my studies, no one cares, no credit for any of my hard work studies & discoveries, almost no one ever agrees with me about anything, etc.
God punishes me refusing to answer because I can't have faith. But how can I have faith when suffering such constant mean cruel hell wrongs like being forced to always be hearing a constant ringing sound in my flat from neighbours going all day and night every day and night which can't be blocked out with plugs/fingers?
If anyone cares please pray or love/care/help/support/encourage or be a friend or have empathy/sympathy/compassion or agree that these things are bad/wrong/evil.
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